If you’re a fan of The Walking Dead, you’re probably needing a zombie fix right about now. Good, me too! So what do we do while we impatiently await the return of one of our favorite shows? We talk about zombies. Shall we?
We all know that zombies aren’t real—so we’ve been told—but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with the idea of zombies or even a zombie apocalypse. The general consensus in movies and on TV is that there are two distinct types of zombies. The first are your common reanimated undead zombies. They tend to have a low mobility rate and no cognitive function. The second type is often referred to as the living zombie, usually victims of a mutated virus like rabies, and they are typically characterized by their higher mobility rate and cognitive function. Being able to determine which type of zombie you are dealing with is vital to any zombie apocalypse survival strategy. Once you know what kind of zombies you’re dealing with, then you can tailor your survival strategy using the list below.
5. Move to a Colder/Warmer Climate
Should you find yourself right in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, you should know that one of the surest ways to extend your life is for you to move to a locale with extreme temperatures. Obviously, this isn’t the most ideal of plans, but you must remember that zombies are trying to eat your brains, so you don’t really have much time to stop and complain. You have to move! This is about survival and since zombies can’t survive in extreme climates—largely due to decomposition rates being increased in hot weather and frost bite affecting movement in cold weather—you will be golden. Once you’re there, remain out of sight for as long as you can.
4. Hide/Stay Inside
It should go without saying that whenever possible you should always try to stay out of plain sight of the zombies. If they can’t see you, they can’t attack you. The only problem with this plan is that eventually you will need to venture out for necessities; unless you’re just waiting to die. Once you do leave the safety of hiding, however, you’ll definitely need to take heed to the next item on the list.
3. Arm Yourself
Whether you’re dealing with living zombies or the reanimated undead, make no mistake you will need to arm yourself in order to survive. As tempting as guns may be, they just won’t cut it. But don’t just take my word for it. On the Mythbusters: Zombie Special, the experts set out to debunk several myths about zombies; including settling the argument over which weapon is best for killing a zombie. The winner was actually the ax; which makes perfect sense. Too many variables would have to be in your favor in order to execute the perfect shot and that’s just not practical when you’re being attacked by a hoard of zombies. With an ax, or something similar, you’re one and done; no matter what angle you approach the zombie from. That’s why katana blade wielding Michonne is such a badass at killing zombies on The Walking Dead.
2. Get Sick
The second best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to get sick. However, keep in mind that the only way that this particular plan has merit is if you are dealing with living zombies. Since you can’t outrun these zombies, you have to resort to outthinking them. Take the zombies in the movie World War Z for example. These living zombies were on a mission to spread their zombie virus, but they couldn’t do so among the living that was already infected with another virus.
Moral of the story, if you’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse with living zombies, do yourself a huge favor and find a lab so that you could inject a virus into your system. It may not seem highly desirable, but then again look at your alternative.
1. Align Yourself With Other Surviving Badasses
Hands down, the best way to survive a zombie apocalypse is to align yourself with other surviving badasses, i.e. Rick Grimes and company aka “our group” on The Walking Dead. If you’ve ever seen The Walking Dead, you know exactly what I’m talking about; but if you haven’t, just know that if it weren’t for their banding together to fight off the zombies, many of Rick’s friends and family would have lost their lives a lot sooner.
It’s like the old saying, “there is strength in numbers,” and in the case of a zombie apocalypse in particular, nothing could be truer. A sense of community is not only important for sustenance, but also in times of battle. Nothing beats fighting back to back with your brethren, even if it does remind of you of some epic battle scene in the The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies. Banding together means survival and as we’ve seen on The Walking Dead, it also gives you a reason to live. Then again, none of this is real anyway…right?
The Walking Dead returns to AMC with new episodes on February 8, 2015 at 9:00pm EST.