Worst Films of 2014

With the good, must come the bad and so it is that we must look to the worst films that 2014 has offered us. Whilst 2014 has been a stellar year for all things cinematic, it has certainly given us a few stinkers, too. Proving that apparently you can have too much of a good thing, these filmmakers have gone in the opposite direction, creating somewhat questionable fare throughout the year. It’s not all bad though; if it weren’t for the bad, we wouldn’t recognise the true gems. So sit back, relax and prepare to reel in horror at the worst films of 2014.

10). Interstellar (Christopher Nolan)

What’s that I hear? The sound of public outcry and denial? Before we begin, let’s get one thing straight: Interstellar was not a really bad film. Nor was it offensive, or brash, or grating. Interstellar was a fair blockbuster film, a decent Hollywood space romp. It’s just that it was a bit of a disappointment. A huge disappointment, actually. Since its sneak preview at the end of The Dark Knight Rises, Interstellar was all that many film fans could think about. Then there were the teaser trailers. And the release of the cast list. And the longer trailers. And the press reviews. It all got a bit much and when the release date finally crept into sight, it was all I could to do contain my excitement and MASSIVE expectations. Really, no one could live up to the hype which surrounded the film and in hindsight, it was inevitable that I should be disappointed. Still, it doesn’t hurt any less. Next time, Nolan, try a quieter approach. You may just be surprised at how effective it can be.

9). Tusk (Kevin Smith)

In 1994, Kevin Smith made Clerks, a low budget, cynical and hugely popular slacker comedy. The film was shot for a snip, with a huge box office success, effectively launching Smith’s career in the film industry. This year, Smith released Tusk, a horror-comedy-drama film based on a story from his SModcast podcast. The film follows a podcaster who ventures into the wilds of Canada in order to interview a strange old man with a very colourful history with a walrus. I’ll end it there. Whilst nowhere near as offensive or cynical as a number of films on this list, Tusk over stretches its idea a little too far for the big screen. Although the idea may have been perfect for a brief podcast, it runs a little thin when on film.

8). Devil’s Due (Tyler Gillett, Matt Bettinelli)

When is the whole exorcism obsession going to run its course? It seems like filmmakers must be compensating for something as there’s a whole lotta purging going on in cinema these days. Whilst Devil’s Due runs a little differently than the traditional exorcism film, it contains the necessary parts to be included in the genre. The whole devil baby insemination things feels a little too Rosemary’s Baby and when you’re up against Roman Polanski’s creepy mind, sometimes you just have to hold up your hands and admit defeat. Yawn.

7). Blended (Frank Coraci)

Another year, another terrible Adam Sandler movie. This time, he’s a single dad with three unruly daughters. Somehow, he finds himself on an African holiday with Drew Barrymore and her two sons. The pair are hopelessly mismatched and instantly dislike each other. I wonder how it will all pan out.Blended is exactly what you would expect from a Sandler-Barrymore collaboration. And that’s the problem. Neither actor tries to do anything different, they appear on our screens time and again in the same roles. It’s all getting a little tired.

6). Dracula Untold (Gary Shore)

Dracula Untold wins the award for the most boring horror film ever. Telling yet another origins story, the film shows how Romanian ruler Vlad III turns to vampires in order to make his name as the Impaler. There is fighting and blood galore but it’s just so draggingly dull. The film relies far too heavily on special effects and prior audience interest, failing to add anything meaningful or different to the vampire genre.

5). The Other Woman (Nick Cassavetes)

I have many problems with this film but none bigger than the problem of the onscreen female. The three women in this film seem to have been lifted directly out of the book of female, misogynist, stereotypes, wrapped up and packaged to make female viewers believe that they are being empowered by watching the film. It’s just wrong. Whilst the women seem to be teaming together to thwart a low life husband, their conversations contain zero insight, so consumed they are by absent men. For shame, Cassavetes.

4). A Million Ways to Die in the West (Seth MacFarlane)

Following his box office success with the somewhat lewd comedy Ted, MacFarlane returned this year with his tired Western comedy. It’s a love story gone wrong and then, (un)surprisingly right, peppered now and then with a couple of irritating visual gags. MacFarlane proves that, when it comes to comedy, louder and more frequent does not necessarily mean more funny.

3). Transformers 4 (Michael Bay)

The fact that the Transformers films are still being made is completely baffling. Michael Bay returns again with head crunching, body slamming, inappropriate up-skirt shot fare. Transformers 4 may spell the death of cinema, if it weren’t for the fact that so many people went to see it. Stop giving Michael Bay more money to ruin the human race.

2). Sex Tape (Jake Kasdan)

This year, Cameron Diaz really got to me. Not only did she blow the whole female empowerment thing in The Other Woman but also, she made this cinematic abomination. The film is really not even worth discussion; its storyline and sense of humour is so tired and drawn out that you feel like even the screenwriters were depressed when they penned it. Apparently, the mood on set was a whole other story, every day spend rolling around in fits of self-induced laughter. I’m glad they had fun. No one else did.

1). Hector and the Search for Happiness (Peter Chelsom)

Whilst in no ways the worst narrative film of the year, Hector and the Search for Happiness takes the prize spot for its self-centred, privileged, pretentious and deeply cynical viewpoint of the world. Simon Pegg stars in the eponymous role, a psychiatrist who is bored with the tedium of everyday life. His well-paid job, privileged lifestyle and inexplicably doting girlfriend just don’t do it for him, apparently; he wants to find real life. And what is more real than sex slavery, starvation and terminal illness? Ho ho ho. As soon as he feeds off the happiness of others much less fortunate, he skips back to his life of revolting privilege, nonchalantly leaving everything behind him. Hector is the worst kind of bad film: It is completely unaware of its own misgivings, believing that it will genuinely make its audience feel better. Hector leaves the worst kind of taste in your mouth and for that, cannot go unpunished.