As a huge sports fan, I typically don’t get into debates about the commercials that come alongside the year’s biggest game.

Unfortunately, when this year’s started, the pathetic attempt for attention from these over budgeted advertisements quickly forced my hand.

Obviously, the point of a commercial is to grab attention, and I suppose in this age of Kate Upton and Fiat the ads in question shouldn’t strike me as strange, but after watching them live and gauging my own reactions so critically, I can say with confidence that whomever had the ideas for these should really be ashamed of themselves for such blatant recycling and obvious agendas.

How Great I Am

This was the first ad that was played after the opening offensive sequence, and I must say it really leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and made the rest seem so much worse.

Let me be clear: I respect those who can push their bodies to amazing limits, and even more so those who have managed to defy all odds and disabilities of any sort. This is not what makes me sad to be a consumer.

What is really appalling is Toyota’s blatant abuse of this idea. It’s like people using a starving children as a way to generate their own fame. Its downright despicable.

Toyota is a major brand and probably sells more Camrys then other makers sell everything put together, but if this is how they lay out their agenda, then I am embarrassed to own a Toyota.

You need to objectify a handicapped woman athlete in order to gain our sympathy, and for what cause?! A CAR!? How are these two even related? It literally baffles me. This spectacular story is meant to be related to this run-of-the-mill vehicle this company jams down our throats daily?
What’s even more upsetting is the now rampant use of archived voice overs since the Ram Farmer commercial a couple of years back.

Mohammad Ali and Amy Purdy are inspirational. The Toyota Camry is not. Let’s go places without needing to play on my emotions to get me to notice your car.

Caring Makes a Man Stronger

Exhibit B is just as ridiculous. At least this one isn’t exploiting feel-good inspirational stories and ear-grabbing voice overs to get the word out on their product.

But they are still making ridiculous claims, and by the way they shamelessly plug their own message and twitter obsession at the end, its obvious that they care even less about being subtle.

Once again, tell me how my relationship to my father is related to soap in any way? Dove claims “caring makes a man stronger” which is displayed by a Father’s commitment to his son, but how does Dove help this process in any way?

This one would have at least been passable if they didn’t have that horribly out of place plug at the end reenforcing their message, as if to say “Hey you watched that heartwarming commercial right? Don’t forget about our twitter crap!”

With Dad

I must have missed the memo on the dad themes, but luckily enough, we get another over done commercial to remind me how strong a father-son relationship can be because of some random car that has just come out!

All in all, it was actually a decent depiction, but once against utterly irrelevant to anything related to the product, and topped off by a final slide that proves they are simply using the father/son emotion as a pawn.

At least it wasn’t as blatant as the Toyota one… until I see the description of the video I linked.

It reads: “#withdad follows the struggles of a hardworking and close-knit family striving for togetherness across the years.”

My father and I have our differences, but my one true regret is that he doesn’t own a Nissan.

Braylon O’Neill

Must have missed the memo on the “athletes overcoming prosthesis” memo as well. At least this is somewhat relevant to the product, but what irks me is the recycled voice over idea to grab attention.

If you can’t tell, that is the rapper Common doing this one, which ends on the statement:
“Showing courage in the face of opportunity.”
It almost seems like they are mocking the audience as a whole.

What courage is that Microsoft? To take an inspirational young child who has used one of your millions of products and objectify it like everything Windows does is changing lives?

I suppose it takes a lot of courage to one-up Toyota.

If they were moved by Amy Purdy and her unrelated car, imagine how well the audience will respond to a child in the same situation! Woohoo Windows will be the HERO!!!

My Bold Dad

Well, looks like Toyota’s disabled athlete angle wasn’t enough! They heard that Dads were polling really strong this year as well!
Pathetic.

Let me sum this commercial up for you:
The final seconds.
“Being a dad is more than being a father. Its a commitment. One that will make a wonderful human being that will make their own choices some day.
THE BOLD NEW CAMRY.”

Are you kidding me? As if the father+voice over combo wasn’t enough, the daughter is going to join the military.

I hope my kids grow up to serve our country and drive a Camry as well.

A new low for attention mongering.

Final Thoughts

I am absolutely embarrassed by how blatantly these major companies will pull on our emotions with inspiring or heart-felt themes for 30 seconds just to get us to notice their one second product plug at the end.
Maybe I am an insensitive rue, but these scream “sex and humor weren’t working, so the next logical step was dads and disabled athletes” + unrelated product.

A sad display on the USA’s biggest stage.

The worst part is that most people probably don’t even realize it.